It was eid. I was about ten, and we were gathered (as usual) in my grandparents’ house. There was a bunch of us kids and then there were some of the older gang (uncles, aunts, parents, etc). I don’t recall what exactly happened but us kids did something pretty messed up which caused an uncle to proclaim:
“هيييه… انتو مشكلتكم ما رضعتوا من حليب ديود… انتو كبرتوا على حليب نيدو!!!”
For us kids all this signified was the “dirty mouthed” renegade uncle daring to use a risque word. We chuckled, we laughed, and we kept repeating for a while ديود ديود ديود!
A few days ago this statement hit me as pretty revealing. Over the last decade or so an intriguing species has began to develop in bahrain that has nothing in common with its ancestors or previous generations. There seems to be a considerable swath of “the new bahrain” that it seems fitting to call the “nido milk generation”.
So who are these members of the nido generation, or nido-ers? At first glance, the nido-er will seem highly educated. He/She will probably have a degree from a UK or a US university. At first glance, a nido-er will seem huber hip or cool. He/she might sport a snoop dog hairdo or a jennifer anniston look. He/she will be up to date on latest OC and desperate housewives shenanigans. Heck, at first glance you might even call him/her “sophisticated”. He/she most probably will possess a noticeable american twang (or in some cases british, whatever the heck that means) in his english.
A nido-er most definitely will strike you as (very) well to do. He/she will try to possess the “best” car there is, the “best” house there is, the “best” gucci sunglasses there is, and the “best” armani suit in town. In fact, a nido-er will most probably want to have “the best” in everything there is. The best hummus, the best flip flops, the best hair do, and the best shawarma. In fact, he might strike you as a tad (read that as a heapful) nouveau-riche or “keeping up with the joneses.” He will strive very hard to have the best of what the nido-ers consider to be the best, and most importantly, he’ll flaunt it.
A nido-er will always hangout with other nido-ers. In fact he would die of shame if he’s associated with anyone or anything that sullies his nido-ness. He’ll live around other nido-ers. He’ll live in nido houses, acquire nido cars, eat nido food, and hang out in nido places. He will only feel comfortable in a nido environment surrounded by other nidoers where they all can bask in the glory of their nido-ness.
Still not sure what a nido-er is? One sure way to spot a nido-er is to converse with him and ask him to respond back in Arabic (or whatever his mother tongue is). A nido-er will start shaking and stuttering, his eyes rolling up and down from side to side. He’ll start foaming at the mouth and sputtering sentences that are unintelligible in any language such as ” yeah but no but yeah but I cannot ya3ni madri but there is shisalfeh magdar dyood dyood dyood…”
toot… tooot… toooot……
In order to resuscitate him and put out of his misery you have to switch back to english. A big smile will suddenly flash on his face, his demeanor will change and he’ll resort back to his most favoured american flavoured twang: “sorry dude about that, dunno what happened there”.
If you want to further confirm he’s a nido-er ask him about arabic music. He’ll dismiss it quickly saying that it “cramps his style”. Any intelligible conversation on arabic movies, serials or books are a big no-no. That oriental rubbish just ain’t his thing maaan.
A nido-er is all of this and more. Don’t be fooled into thinking you can quickly grasp his multi-faceted dimensions. A nido-er and the general nido bubble he lives in require careful and deep analysis in order to achieve an understanding of this amazing creature and its environment.
This blog is dedicated to examinging, unfolding, ridiculing, praising, celebrating, taking the piss out of, deconstructing, de-orientalizing, de-colonizing, de-markating, and unpacking the nido-er, with all the other “-ings” and “-isms” you can think of.
I am a product of the nido-generation myself. I hate it, no doubt about it. I try to change this and break free from its shackles, but the nido bubble is a strong self-enforcing entity which always comes back to encircle you with its charms and misdeeds. I am a self-hating nido-er. This blog is a chance for me to exorcise my nido demons. God-damn you, nido.